i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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