Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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