The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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