Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
