Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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