That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
