We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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