i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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