I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
