God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
