Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
