I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize