I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just invented taco cereal.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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