I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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