She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just tell him i said nine months
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
