Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
