Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
3pm strippers are depressing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You are a genius and a whore.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
