i just wanna soil my oats bro
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
