you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
