no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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