Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
