Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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