ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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