That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
