I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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