11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
