im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
