I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
