i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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