the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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