you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
