So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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