do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
