I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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