i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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