woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
