so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
