You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm just crazy horny about you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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