My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There's even glitter on my cock...
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