he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
