So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you didnt know i had herpes?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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