I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
