i think i have herpe
just one?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
