I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
