would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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