She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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