we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize