I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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