yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
