Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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