On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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