My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
