i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize