Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
