I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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