She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
