thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
