actually, I'm a sock model
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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