I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
