dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
