i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
