chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
